When Reptilians Strike (or just kind of invade our society and stuff)
by Pen name has already been take
Summary: When Reptilians Strike is a satirical piece parodying fanfiction in general. However, I would like to point out how much respect I have for fanfiction writers. With that being said, enjoy the adventures of teenage Maggie as she discovers government secrets, obsesses over her fictional crush, and tries toppings on her pizza.
1. Are You There Godzilla? It's Me Margaret

Maggie quietly sat outside her dean's office. Honestly, she didn't care that much. Mr. Green was just going to go on and on about how he "identifies with her" and how when he was her age, he had a crush. It's not just a crush, she thinks to herself. He's special. He is so tall, his face is so interesting, his eyes are so bright and lively. He is the one. However, a big problem that Maggie faced, as many teenage girls do, is that her true love isn't real. A fictional character. This didn't matter to her though. She could read about her love in fanfiction. She could imagine him battling other outsiders like him. But he was so different. He was goodhearted, in his own crazy way. She whispered to herself that night "I love you, Godzilla."

The next day she met up with her friends, William, Cassie, Orville, Jackson, Rowan, Marcia, and Maya. William O'Connor was a dreamboat, but eh, he's no Godzilla, Maggie thought. For the last month, Maggie and Cassie Kingston had been drifting apart. Cassie wanted a relationship, but Maggie was fully committed to Godzilla. Orville Jasperson, the disgraced "coolest kid in school" had become unpopular, as he was reading Godzilla fanfiction and didn't realize that it was purely satirical. What a jerk. Jackson Wilson and Rowan Stilton had been dating as long as Maggie could remember. Rowan was so pretty, Maggie pretty much idolized her. Jackson was okay but he had bad hair and sometimes smelled of processed cheese. Marcia and Maya Roman were twin sisters who always fought. This was her crew. One thing brought them all together: Godzilla. I'm kidding, they all liked playing Super Smash Bros.

Maggie liked Yoshi, as he resembled Godzilla. William, on the other hand, preferred Lucario. Cassie liked Zero Suit Samus, Orville liked Mario, Jackson liked Shulk, Rowan liked Mii Fighters, Marcia liked Kirby, and Maya liked Pikachu. Interesting, I know. Yoshi, predictable, right

All this obsession with Godzilla and liking Yoshi stems from a fascination with reptiles, according to her psychologist, Dr. Maybe. We all know that she was excited when she was given her next English assignment: prove or disprove the validity of the Reptilian Theory. Score.


	2. The Pepperoni Dilemma

The bell rang. Maggie rushed to catch up with William.

"William, aren't you excited?" panted Maggie.

"Yeah, I guess..." mumbled William. He was preoccupied. Rhonda had been staring at him the whole period. While Ms. Terry blabbed about lizard conspiracies and Obama being an assumed identity, William was trying his hardest to ignore Radish Rhonda. _Her breath always stinks of radish._

Maggie ignored William's passive answer. "We get to uncover the biggest hoax on earth!"

Orville and Maya jumped in next to them as they all walked to lunch. "So, Lizard Lady," Orville grinned "How do you suppose we're gonna do that?"

"Simple," Maggie confidently beamed "My little brother, Shawn's best friend, Rudy, has an older sister two grades above us. Lucy. Lucy has a boyfriend, Billy Smith, whose dad works for the secret service. I'm basically in with the president!"

"Basically," Maya said under her breath. The group moved on to lunch.

"Ms. Terry shouldn't even work at this school," Cassie said, pushing a chicken finger into her mouth. Do chicken's have fingers? Maybe. Damn reptilians. Moving on. "Who would assign such a bogus project?" Cassie may have been living in the 80's at this point in the story.

"I guess Ms. Terry," said Jackson. Jackson wasn't an awfully bright kid. He had trouble keeping up with conversations. He was sort of Rowan's project.

"Yes, honey." said Rowan sweetly. She was basically his mother. Jackson's mother did die in a rail car accident, but that's aside from the point.

Marcia sat down at the table. "Hey, they gave me an extra slice of pizza. Who wants?" No one reacted. It was as if Marcia was invisible. Frustrated, Marcia turned to Maya. "Maya, want it?" she said with a bit more intensity.

Maya shook her head no.

Marcia turned to Maggie. "Maggie, want some pizza?"

"Anything on it?"

"Yeah, pepperoni."

"No thanks."

"C'mon! I thought you liked pepperoni."

"I do."

"Then what gives?"

"Not on my pizza."

Orville's eyes shot the egg sandwich he was inspecting for mold. "You don't like pepperoni on your pizza? That's where pepperoni is best!"

"No," Maggie calmly spoke "I prefer pepperoni sandwiches."

"Ew," Jackson teased, with a mouth full of food.

"Ew," William repeated.

"Let me ask you this then," inquired Maya "What _do_ you like on your pizza?"

Maggie shrugged. "Nothing I guess, I like it plain."

Everyone's jaw hit the floor.

"Can we just drop the subject?" Maggie asked, annoyed. Everyone exchanged cold glances. This conversation definitely wasn't over.


	3. Atlas Shrugged and Walked Away

Maggie's next class was geography. The school didn't really need a geography class: there were world map mural on pretty much every wall in the school. It was part of an unsupervised project in 1983 that got the art teacher fired. Poor Mrs. Hopperbottom. She was a year away from tenure, too. That's what Maggie had heard. She plopped down her backpack next to her desk and sat down.

Mr. Cringwald started his usual spiel. "Hello class, I'm Mr. Cringwald. I'll be your geography teacher today and the foreseeable future. Please open up your Atlas.

Maggie flipped open to the map of Japan on page 14. She continued her drawing of mega hottie Godzilla. In this drawing, he was battling mecha hottie Mecha Godzilla. If Maggie had to list her top 5 crushes, it would be Godzilla, Mecha Godzilla, William, John Green, and Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg. She only wanted them to battle because that's what they did in the movies. If it was up to her, they would be spooning in a dimly lit bedroom, but hey, there's always fan fiction for that.

Maggie became fully immersed in her doodle. She drew each and every school on Godzilla, every speck of dust in his sharp, glorious eyes. While considering how to go about adding Mothra to her drawing, Mr. Cringwald's voice became a bit more clear. "Something something something... Maggie?"

Maggie's face shot up from her Atlas. "Yes?"

"I'll repeat," Mr. Cringwald said patiently. "What is the purpose of the legend?"

Maggie had no idea. She needed to b.s. this. Fast.

"The purpose of a legend..." Maggie said slowly, for time "is to signify something... truly... legendary."

Rowan and a couple of others stifled a chuckle.

"No. Rhonda?"

Before Radish Rhonda could answer, the bell rang. Maggie gathered her stuff and start to walk out with everyone else. This was until Mr. Cringwald stopped her.

"Maggie, you do know that you're going to return these Atlas' at the end of the year."

"And that means...?" Maggie was in another world. A Japanese movie monster world.

"It means you can't be drawing in it."

"Ah."

"You need to buy a new one by the end of the year."

"Or...?"

"Or the school will fine your parents full price."

"Ah."

"$180."

Maggie tried to whistle in surprise, but then remembered that she didn't know how. Bummer. This whole thing was a bummer. Another school book Maggie's parents had to pay for and Maggie would be grounded for a millennium. Seriously. Maggie's parents said that. They can be pretty dramatic.

Just two more class periods, and then the weekend. Perfect. Her only homework was the reptilian project. One weekend was definitely enough time to expose government secrets that may not even exist, Maggie reassured herself. Ms. Terry said that they could work in groups. Perfect.


End file.
